The Not So Secret Cat

It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

That’s what Suga always told himself whenever there was something he really wanted to do, yet had other people’s feelings to keep in mind. It was a mindset he had since middle school, and even though it’d gotten him into a lot of trouble and made him particularly familiar with his school principals, he couldn’t say it hadn’t really ever failed him yet. Learning how to apologize and ask for forgiveness had become Sugawara’s forte. There were three easy steps that one had to follow, and he had them down pat.

Step 1: begin by apologizing and actually say the words “I’m sorry.”
Step 2: explain your actions and take full responsibility for them. Make absolutely no excuses.
Step 3: tell the person you’re apologizing to how you plan to make things right by how you’ll act differently in the future.

It always worked, and Suga was absolutely sure that it would work again. That’s why, when he stumbled upon a small gray female kitten on his way back to his apartment, he didn’t hesitate to pick her up and take her with him. He’d always wanted a cat when he was little, but he was never able to get one since his younger brother was severely allergic. Now was the perfect chance for him to fulfill his childhood desire since he was an adult and living on his own. Well, not technically on his own, but it was close enough.

“What am I going to call you?” Sugawara asked as he held the kitten in front of his face while he continued the walk to his apartment. He only had one more block to go. “What do people usually name their pets? After stuff they like, I guess…” He stared into the kitten’s eyes and couldn’t help but coo since she was so cute. Suga thought for a moment and mentally asked himself what he loved more in the world besides his family and friends. “I know. I’ll name you Mapo Tofu. Just Tofu for short. How’s that sound?”

Tofu stared at Sugawara, and since she didn’t seem to be too bothered by her new name, he nodded and smiled. He fished out his apartment key since he’d finally made it to the building.

“Alright, Tofu, this is your new home. I share it with three other guys, but they’re all still in class, so they’re not here yet,” Suga explained once he’d stepped into his unit. He took his time walking around the entire apartment in order to give Tofu a chance to take in the place. “This is my room. You’ll have to spend a lot of time here for a few days, possibly a few weeks, until I introduce you to the guys…” Suga hesitated, “They don’t exactly know that I found you…”

Since he had completed all of his school tasks, Suga used his downtime to grab some spare blankets and towels for Tofu. He also made a list of things he’d need to buy her. It was all going rather well until he unexpectedly heard the door to their apartment open and close, and Oikawa’s voice shouted out.

“Koushi, are you here? My class got out early!”

Suga stiffened before swiftly picking Tofu up from his bed since he could hear Oikawa approaching his room.

“Sorry, Tofu,” he whispered as he abruptly opened his closet door and set her on the floor. “It’s not permanent. I won’t forget you’re here.”

“Who are you talking to, Kou?” Oikawa asked as he poked his head into Suga’s room just as he was closing the door to the closet.

“Myself!” Suga answered quickly, and he wondered if Oikawa could hear how nervous he was. “I’m a great listener.”

Oikawa laughed a little, “You are, which is why I absolutely have to tell you about the test that I took today. Come make a snack with me.”

Feeling like he couldn’t decline without raising suspicion, Suga smiled and nodded. He followed after Oikawa, but not before sending a fleeting look to his closet door.

~*~

Life with Tofu had been going a little bit more complicated than Suga would’ve hoped for. So far, Tofu hadn’t left Suga’s room at all since he was so afraid of one of his roommates finding out about her before he was ready. He’d made a bed for her in his closet just in case she had to be placed in there again, but usually she slept in his bed with him. It was just as Suga was returning from a grocery trip that he had to hide Tofu’s existence again. Daichi walked into the kitchen right as he pulled out the bulk container of tuna he purchased.

“Woah, that’s a lot of tuna,” Daichi observed. “Why’d you get such a big pack?”

Suga stared at him in surprise before stammering, “I like tuna.”

“I haven’t seen you ever eat that much tuna before.”

“I’m not going to eat it all on my own, Daichi!” Suga said since it wasn’t a lie. He was going to share it with Tofu as an occasional treat.

“Well, I figured that since we share everything around here. I just don’t think the four of us can get through that entire box of tuna before it goes bad though,” Daichi replied.

Suga folded his arms across his chest and turned his nose up in the air. “Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?” He asked petulantly. “I’m sure we’ll get through it just fine. We’re four grown men. We’re not going to let a bulk amount of tuna defeat us.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow at Suga’s choice of words. “Okay… Well, I’m going to go to my room. I have homework to finish.”

Suga watched him go, and he felt like he could breathe a little easier once it was just him and Tofu’s tuna, which had apparently become Daichi’s, Oikawa’s, and Iwaizumi’s, too.

~*~

“Oh, no, absolutely not.”

“Asahi, please! I need you to do this for me!” Suga exclaimed. “You said you would do it when I called you last night.”

Asahi stared at Suga before dropping his gaze to Tofu who was currently being held in front of him. “You asked if I could do you a favor and let you keep your stuff at my place while you worked today. You said nothing about your stuff being a secret cat that you’re hiding from your roommates.”

“Yeah, because I knew you’d say no!”

“Exactly! I refuse to be an accomplice,” Asahi replied.

“An accomplice?” Suga asked, “An accomplice to what? You act like I’m asking you to hide a murder weapon and not my adorably cute kitten. Look at her, Asahi.” Suga moved Tofu closer to his face. “Do you really want her to be cooped up in my room while I work all day?”

Asahi stared at Tofu before averting his eyes and eventually grumbling. “She is cute…”

“Yeah, she’s totally precious, and she’s not bad at all. You’ll just have to feed and play with her. She’s really good at playing cat and mouse. She really likes playing the role of the cat.”

Asahi chuckled before he could stop himself, and once he’d realized he had, he sighed in defeat and took Tofu from Suga. “Fine, I’ll watch her, but you have to tell your roommates that you have her, Koushi.”

“Thank you!” Suga exclaimed, “Thank you, thank you! I promise, I will. Okay, I really have to go,” he knelt down and handed over Tofu’s bag. “Daddy loves you, Tofu. Be good for Uncle Asahi. I’ll pick you up later.” He kissed the top of Tofu’s head and ignored the incredulous look Asahi was giving him. “I can’t believe this will be her first time away from me and with a complete stranger.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Koushi,” Asahi assured.

Suga sniffled and nodded, “I’m sure you’re right. Send me lots of pictures, okay?”

Asahi nodded and thanked the Gods that he’d been given the patience to deal with his friend’s antics. “I will, I promise.”

Again, Suga nodded, and with one last kiss to Tofu’s head, he was gone.

~*~

“Ow!”

Suga flinched at the sound of Daichi’s sudden shout. He looked over the edge of the textbook he’d been studying from to watch him bend down and pick something up from the floor.

“Are you okay?” Suga asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just stepped on something and it kind of hurt a little.”

“What’d you step on?”

“I don’t know actually,” Daichi hummed and held it up in the air. He shook it, and Suga felt his heart skip a beat at the familiar sound of a little bell. “It looks like a cat toy?”

“That’s mine!” Suga exclaimed as he abruptly jumped up from the couch. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just leave it lying around.”

Daichi furrowed his eyebrows and handed it off to Suga once he reached for it. “It’s fine, but why do you have a random cat toy?”

“It’s not a cat toy,” Suga lied. “It’s one of those neat fidget toys. I play with it to keep my hands busy when I get fidgety and anxious.”

“Anxious?” Daichi shook his head, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you particularly anxious during our Karasuno years.”

Suga scoffed, “yeah, well that was high school, Daichi. This is college. This is one step closer to the real world, you know? After this, it’s working a nine-to-five and feeling an exponential amount of dread and stress for the rest of our lives. True adulthood at its finest.”

With a grimace, Daichi nodded, “Well, when you put it that way…”

“Yeah, it’s totally something to be anxious about. You know what? As a matter of fact, you keep this fidget toy because that’s what it is. It’s absolutely not a cat toy. I suspect you’ll need it way more than I do.”

“I like to think I handle my bouts of anxiety rather well.”

“You do, there’s no doubt about it, but now you’ll have this cool toy to help you even more,” Suga insisted.

Daichi made a thoughtful face and rattled the cat toy. He began to head toward his room, and Suga listened to him mutter, “Well, I won’t be able to use it in the library, that’s for sure.”

When he was alone, Suga turned around and walked to his room. He entered to find Tofu curled up on his pillow.

“I’ve got bad news, Tofu,” Suga said, and he watched her lift her head at the sound of his voice. “I had to give your one and only toy away. I know, I’m a bad dad, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll get you another one, okay?”

Suga pet Tofu’s head and listened to the sounds of two people passing by his closed door.

Suga could hear Iwaizumi’s voice asking, “Who’s he talking to in there?”

It was Oikawa’s voice that Suga heard next. “I don’t know, probably himself. He does that sometimes. He said he’s a great listener.”

“Oh…” Iwaizumi said, his voice becoming fainter. “Okay.”

“You’ll get to meet them eventually, Tofu. I just have to wait for the right time,” Suga whispered even though he was sure Tofu wasn’t listening to him since she’d placed her head back down and closed her eyes. “They’re going to love you,” he cooed.

~*~

“You’re washing your bedding again?” Iwaizumi asked, and Suga tried his absolute hardest not to jump in surprise since he hadn’t been expecting to be sneaked up on. He closed the lid of the washing machine and turned around.

“You scared me,” Suga chuckled before nodding. “Yeah, I’m washing them again…”

“That’s like the fourth time this week. What happened this time? Last time was, what, tea, right? I think you told me you spilled your tea.”

“Yeah, I spilled it everywhere,” Suga said, even though it was a lie. What actually happened was that Tofu peed on his bed. Suga had been having trouble introducing her to her litter box which was a bit frustrating since he’d researched and found out that most kittens don’t have a problem getting acclimated to their litter box.

“What happened this time?” Iwaizumi asked curiously.

“Ah,” Suga shrugged his shoulders, “More tea…”

Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head a little. “But we ran out of tea two days ago. We’ve been meaning to get more, but haven’t found the time yet.”

Suga’s eyes widened because that was right. “Oh, uh… Well, I bought some more, so, yeah.”

“Did you?” Iwaizumi perked up a little. “Nice, I’m going to have a cup with dinner then. I think I’m on the verge of getting a cold.”

Suga nodded, but then he stopped when he realized that he didn’t actually buy tea. Iwaizumi was going to find an empty cupboard, and then he’d know that he had lied to him. “Actually!” Suga said since Iwaizumi was turning away from him. “You can’t, sorry.”

“Why not?” Iwaizumi asked, “I mean, I get it if you don’t want to share since you bought it, but… We usually share everything? Is it a special blend or something?”

Suga shook his head and groaned because Iwaizumi was looking at him like he’d just told him that Santa wasn’t real. He’d never seen Iwaizumi look genuinely disappointed in not getting to have tea before.

“I peed,” Suga sighed.

Iwaizumi quirked an eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

“I peed,” Suga repeated solemnly. “On my sheets. That’s why I’m washing them this time. I lied about buying more tea because I didn’t want to tell you that I wet the bed.”

“Oh…” Iwaizumi replied.

“Yeah, I had a nightmare about… About college, and it just sort of… Happened… Don’t tell Tooru and Daichi.”

Iwaizumi nodded and patted Suga’s shoulder. “Your secret is safe with me, and hey, don’t be embarrassed, it happens.”

Suga forced a smile and nodded too, “Thanks, Hajime.”

It wasn’t until Iwaizumi had left for the kitchen that Suga turned around and banged his head against the wall. “Why did you tell him you peed, Koushi? Out of all the things you could’ve said you decided to go with wetting the bed?”

Oikawa suddenly passed by the laundry room, and without stopping, he asked, “talking to yourself again, Kou-chan?”

Suga pressed his lips together. “Yup, just checking in with myself. Seeing how I’m feeling and stuff.”

Oikawa made a noise of understanding, and Suga huffed because his roommates were most likely going to come to the conclusion that he wasn’t as okay as they all originally thought he was.

~*~

In order to celebrate the hellish first week of having Tofu in his life, Suga decided to treat himself to a large bubble tea. Tofu was given her first amount of catnip, and he was currently sitting on his bed and watching her roll around in it.

“You’re so cute, Tofu,” he complimented.

She batted her paws in the catnip and meowed. Suga wasn’t sure how long she’d played for, but it was about halfway through his tea when the room to his door opened. It was almost impressive how fast Suga moved when it came to scooping her up and stuffing her beneath his shirt. He angled himself so he wasn’t facing his door.

“Koushi, we need to talk. It’s important,” Daichi said, straight and simple, and to the point. “We’re worried about you.”

“We think you should utilize the campus health center if you feel like college is becoming too stressful,” Oikawa stated.

“They can help you talk through your talking to yourself, and your stress eating, and your sudden habit of fidgeting, and the other thing that happened that I’m not allowed to say out loud,” Iwaizumi added.

Suga groaned and glanced down at his shirt since it was moving because of Tofu’s wiggling.

“I’d appreciate it if you guys would knock next time, please,” he muttered.

“We’re sorry,” Daichi apologized, “We’re just really concerned, and we didn’t think you’d want to talk about it if we didn’t just barge in and get it over with.”

Suga couldn’t quite believe his life. Not only did his roommates think he was having a mental health crisis due to college stress, but his stomach was also getting all scratched up because Tofu was not happy about being underneath his shirt. She meowed angrily, and Suga stiffened before faking a coughing fit.

“What was that?” Iwaizumi asked.

“What was what?” Suga asked back as he glanced over his shoulder. “I coughed.”

“No, what was that noise before you coughed?” Daichi asked. “I heard it, too.”

“No, you didn’t,” Suga denied.

Tofu meowed once more, and Oikawa gasped, “There it is again! It sounds like a cat! Koushi, do you have a cat?”

“He does not have a cat,” Iwaizumi stated.

Tofu howled as loud as her little lungs could manage.

“He definitely has a cat,” Daichi announced.

“Koushi, turn around,” Iwaizumi ordered. “Did you smuggle a cat into the apartment?”

With a defeated sigh, Suga pulled Tofu from underneath his shirt and turned around. “Okay, so I might have… But don’t be mad. She’s really cool.”

“Oh, she’s so cute,” Oikawa cooed as he approached her. “She looks just like you. What’s her name?”

“Tofu, but her full legal name is Mapo Tofu.”

“That’s… An interesting choice for a name,” Daichi mumbled.

Suga shrugged, “I feel like it fits her rather well.”

“She can’t stay,” Iwaizumi announced.

“You can’t kick her out!” Oikawa and Suga both cried. Suga added, “She’s my child! I found her on the street fair and square.”

“Our apartment doesn’t allow pets, Koushi,” Iwaizumi said softly. “How are you going to hide her from our landlord?”

“The same way I hid her from you guys for the past week.”

“Wait, she’s been here for a week?” Daichi asked. “That explains a lot of things actually.”

Suga nodded and turned to look at Iwaizumi. “Please don’t make me get rid of her, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi wasn’t as stern as he made himself out to be, and Suga could tell that the longer he watched Tofu, the more his resolve was beginning to crumble. He grumbled in exasperation before shaking his head in defeat.

“Fine, but she’s your responsibility.”

“You sound like one of those dads who doesn’t want a pet, but ends up loving it,” Oikawa said as he rubbed Tofu.

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi mumbled as he turned around and left the room.

“You guys finding out about her went a lot better than how I was expecting it to,” Suga admitted. He patted the bed so Daichi could come closer and get to rub Tofu, too.

“Why does she look like that?” Daichi asked with a little chuckle since Tofu was now sitting on the bed and staring off into space.

“Oh, I think it’s because she’s high off the ‘nip right now,” Suga answered truthfully.

Tofu warmed up to Daichi and Oikawa rather quickly once she was no longer under the influence of catnip, and Suga was quite pleased since it now meant she could have the entire apartment to roam. In fact, it was later that same day when Suga stepped into the living room to find Iwaizumi laying on his back on the couch with Tofu dozing right on top of his chest.

When he and Suga made eye contact, Iwaizumi was quick to whisper, “Not a single word.”